Bride-to-be went viral on TikTok after sharing letter to bridesmaids with 'mandatory' wedding commitments

Business Insider US
Lisa Torres.
  • Lisa Torres went viral on TikTok after sharing a letter to her bridesmaids.
  • In the letter she outlined "mandatory" commitments, such as her bachelorette trip.
  • She told BuzzFeed she wanted to "destigmatise" discussions about cost and expectations.
  • For more stories go to

A woman went viral on TikTok after sharing a letter she wrote to her bridesmaids explaining what was expected of them.

Lisa Torres, 29, got engaged to her boyfriend Alex Cortes in April this year. To prepare for the wedding, Torres said she sent a "bridesmaid proposal box" to her bridal party, which included the two-page letter.

"I am going to share a tip that I used to be more transparent with my bridal party," Torres explained in one video, posted on June 6. "Before I got engaged, I was a bridesmaid before, and I wasn't fully aware of all the costs and expectations associated with being a bridesmaid."


#stitch with @stephanieberman7 I was scared to have a #transparency letter in the #bridesmaidproposalbox but it WORKED OUT. #wedding#weddingtiktok

? original sound - Lisa ??

Torres went on to explain that she wrote the letter to outline time and money commitments for her bridesmaids, as well as to provide them the opportunity to say no if they didn't want to be part of the bridal party.

The video has one million likes at the time of writing.

In another video, posted on June 7, Torres shared a close-up look at the letter, which detailed mandatory commitments such as the rehearsal dinner and bachelorette trip, and non-mandatory commitments, including the bridal shower and wedding dress shopping.

She shared her preferred colour of bridesmaids dresses - "dusty rose" - and ideas for her bachelorette party, which she wrote that she would like to have at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico.


Reply to @silly16boo Your #transparencyletter may look different, & that’s okay. We envision different things.?? #wedding#weddingtiktok#bridesmaids

? original sound - Lisa ??

Torres also shared her estimated costs for the bridesmaids dresses -around $200 (R2,800) each - and the bachelorette trip, which she expected to cost $500 (R7,000) per person.

"It's really important to destigmatise the discussion around the cost and expectations of being a bridesmaid," Torres told BuzzFeed. "It was so heartbreaking to see how many stories there were [in the comments] about friendships ending because this important discussion didn't happen beforehand."

She added that she hopes people are encouraged to focus on the "bigger picture" that "transparency is the best policy" and to "normalise allowing people to say no to being part of a wedding party."

Torres did not immediately respond to Insider's request for comment.

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