16 things no one tells you about being a dad, according to real fathers
- Becoming a dad can be nerve-wracking.
- These dads shared the things no one talks about when it comes to being a dad.
- We rounded up some of the most-helpful answers like taking a second for yourself and to not worry about keeping a silent home.
- For more stories, go to www.businessinsider.co.za.
Becoming a parent for the first time can be scary. There are so many things to think about, and since you've likely never experienced any of them before, you're probably feeling completely overwhelmed. While every parent goes through a lot, what to expect as a new dad can be particularly hard to figure out.
We rounded up some pieces of advice the dads of Reddit said no one tells you, but they wished they knew before welcoming a bundle of joy.
Kids are seriously smart
"By how soon my kids became more intelligent than me." - Anonymous Redditor
They will learn from you
"The biggest thing I've probably learned from being a step-dad is if you want them to clean their room, you have to keep your room clean too. I mean that metaphorically too. You have to be a role model for the behaviours you want them to have." - Redditor MTSwagger
But you may need to do some push-ups first
"Get in shape now. You'll be carrying a lot more stuff and will be chasing you kid around soon enough." - Redditor Sveenee
Your kids can handle a bit of noise
"Do NOT have it dead silent in your home when your child is asleep. Do your normal routine or noise level or you end up with a child who is easily woken up by a mouse fart." - Redditor OnlyHalfKorean
The invisible work is the most appreciated
"Take over the mental load from your partner.
"It's invisible work that goes unnoticed - the knowing what is coming, what jabs and immunizations [shots] there need to be, what appointments are going to be happening, what needs to be prepared and ready every day. You can do the chores, and that stuff will get visually noticed by everyone and it'll feel good and is definitely helpful. But if you're not involved in the thinking and planning side of things then it will just be a drain on your partner. So make sure that there are enough clean clothes for everyone, that bags are packed and ready for leaving the house, that spare changes of clothing are ready - your partner and child will love you for it because everything will run far smoother." - Redditor Intra78
It's OK to take a second for yourself
"When your baby is crying and won't stop and you've not had any sleep and you feel yourself getting wound up just put the baby down. Walk out the room, count to 10 and just breathe.
"Your baby will be fine for those 10 seconds and the last thing you want is to lose your rag." - Redditor CountSeanula
Seeing people holding your kids may make you nervous
"Just became a dad three weeks ago. The thing that surprised me most was how anxious I am when people other than my wife hold him. I had guessed I wouldn't be this protective but was wrong.
"Also, babies poop way more than I expected." - Redditor gizombie
There can be a double standard in the way people view parenting
"So the one thing that has struck me as a dad is how sexist our society still is. I'll be out with my son, and even if we're just having dinner, I'll have people say to me, 'you're such a good dad, spending time with your boy.'
"No. I'm just a father. That's what dads do. Dads are marginalized in movies, made to look like the doofus in every ad, and generally mocked around every turn. It never used to bother me. Now it does." - Redditor truthcopy
Your kid will always be a part of you
"Having a child is like watching your heart run around outside of your body completely unprotected." - Redditor Micklikesmonkeys
But you may not get a lot done
"The soul-crushing destruction of your productivity.
"My wife and I have a 3 and 4-year-old. God help us if we need to get something done. Want to hang some pictures in your house? Let me run off with your hammer. The other one steals the nails. We had to assemble a couch today for our office as we could not get an assembled one through the door of the room. A one-hour job turns out to take all day long." - Redditor wpiman
They can change your life
"My son's 2, and the thing that blew me away instantly was how overwhelming my instant love for this kid was. He's f------ amazing and truly changed how I view the world." - Redditor kinbladez
Don't take a moment for granted
"Spend as much time as you can with your kids. They grow up so fast." - Redditor jiakpng
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