High-heeled Crocs have set the internet aflame.
Now I'm here to tell you: Croc haters are wrong, and Crocs with heels are actually good.
Let's situate ourselves at this point in fashion history. Ugly fashion is, inexplicably, in.
Vetements is selling high-top sock sneakers and boots that hit your hip for hundreds of dollars. Y/Projects crafted a thigh-high Ugg. Ugly, unflattering denim has achieved such dominance that many people — have accepted bizarre lengths and cuts as the new normal.
"Ugly products have become so ironic that they're now trendy, thanks to designer brands launching their own ugly clothing items," reports Business Insider's Mary Hanbury. "It's an excellent marketing ploy — these unappealing products with large price tags create a backlash and subsequent buzz on social media."
I'm not necessarily on the pro-ugly clothing train. At the end of the day, I dress primarily for utility: Is this comfortable and do I look presentable enough to do my job and/or potentially find a date?
Ugly clothing does not necessarily meet these needs.
While some ugly clothing trends are at least comfortable, others offer neither comfort nor presentability. Who is buying denim bustiers and upside-down jean shorts? And, I get that R11,000 Balenciaga Crocs aren't meant to be worn to the office, but I still find it shocking that these demented clogs — which are both extremely expensive and look impossible to walk in — immediately sold out.
If Balanciaga is able to charge R11,000 for purposefully garish Crocs, then R600 high-heeled Crocs deserve a round of applause. Strike that — a standing ovation.
The Cyprus Crocs, which are now sold out on the retailer's website, represent the best of the ugly fashion trend. They're single-mindedly practical and synthetic, with a clunky normcore style. According to reviews, they're extremely comfortable. Most importantly, they're designed with actual people in mind.
Crocs has actually sold high-heeled shoes for years, with a wide selection of sandals and wedges on its website. Most people who purchase the shoes aren't making a fashion statement, a la Balenciaga Crocs, but instead just want to feel comfortable when going about their daily life.
"This is one of the first shoes that fit my feet perfectly," reads one review of the much-maligned Cyprus Croc. "I am almost flat footed so most shoes flop around on my feet but these are perfect for me. I also have Planter Faciaitis [sic] and I can wear these shoes all day with no pain at all."
"I haven't worn heels in a long time. They are too painful," reads another. "I could literally run in these!"
There's something to be said for designers that push the limit of what people think of as aesthetically pleasing. But, as ironic ugly fashion goes mainstream, it's time to give credit where credit is due — to the practical, affordable, and maybe a little ugly brands that served as muses for these designers.
Whether you're flaunting the shoes as a fashion statement or simply a teacher who has to be on her feet all day, high-heeled Crocs aren't another accessory to be mocked. They're the best the ugly fashion movement has to offer.
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