• Dating is hard and getting ghosted is universally considered terrible.
  • That's why Katie Miller, a 21-year-old American college student, decided to make a dating "exit survey."
  • Miller told INSIDER most guys have been nice about it, but she hasn't gotten too many responses.
  • The survey went viral when her friend Abby Govindan shared it on Twitter.


Dating can be hard and breakups almost inevitably leave unanswered questions - even if you were seeing someone casually. That's why Katie Miller, a 21-year-old student at Georgetown University in the United States, recently started sending a standardised "exit survey" to everyone she dates.

"I actually made the survey on Sunday after being ghosted yet again," Miller told INSIDER. "I wanted to see if I could prevent that, and I wanted to ask why it happened without initiating a conversation."

Her survey went viral on Tuesday after her friend Abby Govindan, a 21-year-old college student and stand-up comedian, shared it on Twitter.

"There's this girl I know who sends an exit survey to every guy she casually AND seriously dates," Govindan said of the survey.

Miller's questions are pretty straightforward, encouraging men to examine such things as "what is wrong with Katie," "what's wrong with you," and if they would "refer Katie to a friend."

Only some questions are mandatory.

Miller also asks if her exes would "like to remain on the mailing list" if "another opportunity opens up."

Since she started sending the survey, the responses have been fairly considerate, Miller told INSIDER.

"Not every guy has responded, and the ones who have are very nice," Miller said.

For example, five responses to the question, "What could Katie have done to enhance this experience for you?" seemed to be generally positive. Answers included "no biting, come to some bars with me, visited Maine, more tater tots, and give me a shoulder massage."

Some suggestions.
Courtesy of Katie Miller

Understandably, people are obsessed with Miller's survey.

Some say they're going to start sending out questionnaires of their own.

Govindan knew that Miller's survey was the "perfect recipe for virality," but she was moved to share it because she respected her friend's honesty and self-awareness.

"I admire Katie's candidness and bravery," Govindan said. "Dating as a woman is always going to be a complete nightmare, I really enjoyed Katie's nonchalant approach to breakups."

Miller isn't big on social media, which is why she didn't share it herself, but she's hoping that this survey will help her in future relationships.

"I'm hoping the responses give me something to improve on so that dating can be less confusing," she said.

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